We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Back to the Old House

by Sawmill

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 AUD  or more

     

1.
Did you see her waving from the evergreens? As you caught your breath behind the old machines. How is it that we have all moved away? Watch your step cause it’s getting late. Twist and turn your able body through the trees, Going forward with one eye in a bad dream. Take again what you feel that you are owed, How else could you have ever known? Walk up to the kitchen door, Dismiss all the gnawing thoughts. By the water at sunrise, When my options had run out, Taking directions to find, The eternal calm hide out. Could you take back what you saw and what you heard? Given the chance would want to anyway? Push and pull until it fits like before. The pages will turn all the same. Move with all the other ones, Flocking to the beating drum. Show up to the parting clouds, Give out as the sun goes down.
2.
Branches 04:43
Oh you never noticed it, Something so small. Oh you know I’ve never been, Inside the wall. Snap the branches down to size, Then collect more. Just before the sun is set, It darkens the room. I’ll be here alone again, Shaking with the wind. Autumn, as the seasons change, Will I stay the same? Fated to stay in the house, I was written for. Oh the fearful sensation, Of finding out, This familiar narrative, Is coming down. Push the curtains open to, Lighten the room. Is this fate or consequence? Or something new? Look out at the countryside, A sight to behold. Does it make you think or just, Admire the view? Oh you never noticed it, Something so small. Oh you know I’ve never been, Inside the wall. I’ll be here alone again, Shaking with the wind. Autumn, as the seasons change, Will I stay the same? Fated to stay in the house, I was written for.
3.
Windowsill 04:34
I’ve never known why, We don’t speak, To each other. Odd decorations, Fill the house, For the party. There’s a thousand ways, To get out of here, I continue to, Wrap myself around, Expectations that, Never quite match up. I bide my time just, Standing still, In the background, By the windowsill, Trapped in a, Conversation. Heading for the door, Halfway down the stairs, I continue to, Wrap myself around, Expectations that, Never quite match up.
4.
Dirt and flower beds, In solitude here stands, The grounds man, Mud and turpentine, The wind blows through his hair, He’s working, Birds on power lines, And everything is as, It should be Changing with the seasons, Picking up the fallen leaves, Walking through the garden, He has spent his whole life in. Where the stray dog roams, Along the riverside, Grey boulders, Past the borderline, Beyond all of the, Fallen branches, Uninhabited, The stray dog makes his way, In silence, Sunlight through the trees, Reflections lighting up, The water.
5.
Overgrown 04:05
Oh let me shut, My eyes for a while. In the shade of, The tall maple tree. Falling asleep, Hidden from the sun. We’ll keep doing, What we’ve always done. Waking up in the, Early afternoon. Habits that we won’t, Shake off very soon. Night journeys to, Calm your troubled mind, You know so well, The highways that spread, Every which way, From the city to, Quiet places, You’d prefer to be. Spending too much time, Out here on your own. Habits that you won’t, Shake off very soon. Feeling lazy, In the summer heat, Counting the hours, Until someone’s around, Out in the yard, Looking overgrown, We spend the day, Waiting patiently. Spending too much time, Out here on our own. Habits that we won’t, Shake off very soon.
6.
Heading Home 03:57
When the tide, Ripples against the shore, Pick up the smallest stone, Throw it out in the water, Watch it sink back down. In the reeds, Watching the clouds go by, Hearing the freight trucks pass, Onto the next little town, Just the same as this. When it rains, Down by the waterside, It’s best to take shelter, In the pine forest where it’s, Always dark as night. Heading home, Follow the western fence, It cuts a clear shot path, Back to the old house where, No one knows where you’ve been.
7.
Keeping one eye on the clouds, Watching the sky getting darker, Turn on the windscreen wipers, Slow down and look out for shelter, Watching the trucks rolling past, Gutters are flooding the footpath, Freezing and soaked to the bone, Late at night driving on your own. Changing your street address, Assemble all the mess, You own and put it on the back seat. You know you’ve gone too far, When the radio plays, White noise where your favourite station was. Bury your head in your hands, Sleep at a petrol station, In the middle of nowhere, Waking up at the break of day, There’s fog covering the road, Driving through the mountain ranges, The view would be pretty nice, If you could see out through the clouds. Changing your street address, Assemble all the mess, You own and put it on the back seat. You know you’ve gone too far, When the radio plays, White noise where your favourite station was.
8.
Out here you’ll get, Caught in bad weather again, Cowboy in a, Strange new city. Follow the crowd, Looking for shelter in an, Old music hall, Turn and see the, Dancer on stage, Spinning in silence all night, Can she see you? Would she want to? Taking one more, Shot at the moon, Walking it off, Sobering up again. The midday sun, Burning the street, Your shoelaces, Are coming undone again. As it gets dark, Look for a motel somewhere, Unpack and stare, At the ceiling. You can’t forget, What you saw last night, under, The lights dancing, In slow motion. Dancer on stage, Spinning in silence all night, Can she see you? Would she want to? Taking one more, Shot at the moon, Walking it off, Sobering up again. The midday sun, Burning the street, Your shoelaces, Are coming undone again.
9.
Losing Days 04:27
If you’re ever feeling lonely, Give me a call, I’m the distraction, From the image of your life that, You never could, Quite fit me into. Just another day in my shoes, When you decide, That I could help you, Fix a problem that you’d never, Tell me about, If I would ask you. These keys that don’t open any doors, You collect and you’re looking for more. What am I supposed to do with, All of the days, Clouding my judgement? Playing conversations in the, Back of my head, When I am working. Trying not to see the time I, Know that it’s been, Less than I’m thinking. Getting good at making small talk, Losing the days, Caught in a cycle. These keys that don’t open any doors, You collect with no sign of remorse. Oh Mother Mary have you known, All along? That I’d get in up to my neck, Then sink deeper. Shall I just wait by the phone for, Your call? You know that I’ve always enjoyed, Playing the fool.
10.
Oh heavenly host, I was foolish, As a young man, I’m not strong enough, To be shouting, Into the wind, For a whole lifetime, I am growing, Weak and weary, Waiting patiently, For the thunder, When the rain comes, If it’s only luck, I’ve already, Reached my limit, As the street light fades, In the distance, And the heater, Fogs up the window, Something else will, Get me thinking. Slow, momentary thoughts, Unable to shake off, Caught, somewhere in-between, Life and a waking dream, Stuck talking to myself, Sat, staring out to sea, Oh, could you carry me, Ghost only I can see.

credits

released November 1, 2020

Written, Performed, Recorded, Mixed: Nick McMillan
Mastered: John Ruberto
Special Thanks: to Itrat Memon for his unwavering help and enthusiasm, to Tom Spurgin and Daniel Mahler for their musical mentorship in a dark time, and to Shannon McMillan for her absolute love and invaluable support - if not for you, the winter would hold no spring.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Sawmill Marrickville, Australia

Sawmill is Sydney-based solo artist and producer Nick McMillan's DIY recording project. A texturally rich blend of introspective, dreamy, and visually evocative, Sawmill blurs the lines between alt-rock, shoegaze, and folk.

contact / help

Contact Sawmill

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

Sawmill recommends:

If you like Sawmill, you may also like: